How long is the longest you’d wait to get married? How long are you willing to wait for someone to pop the question, or even pop the question yourself?

I asked my husband to marry me. We had been together for seven years. It certainly didn’t feel like seven years. It felt like it had been just a few short years.

Now I want to clarify, I did not ask him because he was taking to long to ask me. I askd him because when we initially started dating, we both agreed we weren’t really looking for marriage. We both had come from complicated past relationships, and at the time, didn’t feel the need for marriage. But after seven years, my sentiments changed. As, I felt his did too. But, I was just the more flexible one to go back on what I said 🙂

After seven years you’d think things are rock solid. It’s not so cut and dried. There is nothing constant in life except change. People change, circumstances change, jobs change, morality changes, so many changes. Most people are not who they were before. So, the person you met, will most certainly not be who you met over time.

What does this mean? It means to be flexible. But also to be patient. Even though people change over time and you may not be able to predict who they will become, you can make educated guesses on HOW they choose who they become. Most people are failry predictable. Even though people change, most times, ideas, habits, and morailty doesnt; or at best only changes slightly.

Take some time to learn these different types of habits, quirks, and choices. Take my husband for example, he’s fairly predictable at being unpredictable, lol. I know, what does that mean, right? He likes to be spontaneous, act in the moment, and switch up his routine, BUT, I’ve learned over time that he mulls over these ideas in his head. As spontaneous as he may seem, he actually thinks these things over and weighs the pros and cons of each situation, but silently.

I on the other hand am always thinking outloud, asking his opinion, writing things down. His process is internal, and mine is external. So it may seem he just pops up out of nowhere and says “Let’s buy and RV and tour the country.” (true story by the way). But in all actuality he had been mulling over it for years.

I say all this to point out, it seems people are pushing to get married more quickly, and divorce seems to be on the rise. Suprisingly enough, it doesnt always seem like its about infidelity, finances, children, or some form of abuse, but that this person isnt the person who i first met.

No they’re not, and you probably arent either. Now, don’t get me wrong, if there is a drastic personality change or change in ideals or morality, that can be a bit jarring, and may be a sign of something deeper. But, the other changes, are changes that could have been picked up on with proper insight and attention.

And when this happens, what do you do? You weather the storm. change is inevitable and actually healthy, its a sign of growth. Be open, be honest, communicate, and give grace. Remember that you are changing all the time too. And just as you would want your spouse to be understaning in your time of growth on your journey, they would want the same thing.

Peace and Blessings. Always Anima